I was reading something earlier on one of the boards I frequent [non-adoption related]. I've decided instead of posting about Madeline today, I would post about this specific topic. If you feel inclined to answer, great, if not, great!
If you found out you were infertile... would you think that it was God's plan for your life to be childless? Would you do infertility treatments or do you think infertility treatments are a sin that interfere with God's plan for ones life?
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6 comments:
You know, I have never thought about this. I am not sure what I would do. But, I do think that I would try something--or I would have before adoption. Knowing what a miracle and gift adoption is I am not sure that I wouldn't spend my money on bringing more children home who need mylove.
But, I do believe that what happens in life is God's plan. We may not like it, but that is the way it is.
I do not think it was God’s plan for me to childless, just because I didn’t conceive. But my husband and I both felt very strongly against creating our family through infertility treatments. Would it have been a “sin” for us to pursue infertility treatments? Maybe. Is it a sin for everyone who pursues it? Absolutely NOT! It wasn’t God’s will for me to conceive naturally, or to do infertility treatments. But being a mama was! I think adoption is a calling, not a last resort. Not everyone is called to adopt, has the capability to love a child who is not biologically connected. I believe we’re each created with the capability to handle different things differently. Have I ever regretted not pursuing infertility treatments…NO!!! My Crista is MINE and there is a bond between us that transcends biology. I think all children, however they come into their families, are precious. I’m just a little partial to mine :-)
I think that God sometimes has plans for us other that what "we" plan for ourselves. Being infertile, i truly believe, isn't something that God 'punishes' us with; perhaps being infertile is a way for us to link to a child that we would have not otherwised been linked to and become a family with.
As for infertiltiy treatments, well, i have mixed feelings on those. For me, and this is just personally, getting pregnant didn't happen....and after hearing about and talking about infertility treatments, i just felt that this was a sign of sorts to look at other way to become parents. Are infertility treatments a sin that interferes with God's plan? hmmmm, no, i don't think so. I'm Catholic, lol, so i know pretty much where that train of thought comes from. Science is a wonderful thing and has accomplished and helped so many-but i get a little nervous about infettility treatments. Again, it's just me...our goal was to be parents. It didn't matter to us whether i physically had the child or not, we truly wanted to be parents.
Dang, that was long winded...LOL...
Well, my opinions come from a non-denominational Christian propective.
No scripture in the Bible says infertility treatments are sinful(someome please correct me if I'm wrong too). If being infertile was a punishment from God, he would have told that person. God doesn't punish us just for fun. He punishes us because he loves us and want us to learn from our mistakes. How can we learn if he doesn't remind us about them?
I understand when people are against the destruction of unused embryos. I personally do not believe that they are "life" but merely the chance of life. If every embryo created with IVF was truly a "life" then why arent IVF success rates 100%?
I am against doctors knowingly increasing the risk of high number multiple pregnancies just to increase success rates. I dont think any doctor should transfer more than 3 embryos. I think if they are doing inseminations that it should be cancelled if the doctor notices there are too many mature follicles. I so think some couples want so much to get pregnant that they are willing to do so at any cost. Multiple pregnanies are very high risk to mom and baby and should be avoided. Giving your future child/ren the best possible chance of being healthy should be more important that just getting those 2lines on a pregnancy test (but alas, thats my soapbox). :)
I find it interesting that some that oppose extreme medical measures to GET pregnant have used birth control of some medical form in the past. Like my coworker who told me that IVF was against Gods will, yet I asked then why didnt he leave it to Gods will how many kids he had (he had a vasectomy).
We are open with how our kids came to us. Our son Evan was an IVF baby. He spent 2 months on ice before settling into my body. No freezer burn on him. :)
If people want to judge me for my choices, then fine. But never judge my kids. Its not like children walk around with tags saying how they were conceived.
Would "planned for using natural family planning" kid be any better than "oops, got drunk at a party" kid or "sperm donor insemination" kid?
Hi Ashley, I did go through infertility for about 5 years. I struggled a lot with the "why's" and I was angry a lot, but never thought it was because God wanted me to be childless. In hindsight, I think he didn't agree with MY timing. He was right for many reasons.
There were at least 7 women in the bible who were barren/childless and all of them except one eventually were blessed with children. Sarah was in her 90's before she bore Isaac.
After 4-5 years of doctoring, we were to the point of trying IVF or 'giving up'. I HAPPILY gave up. I was SO tired of fertility treatments and I started the adoption process within a month.
I would love to talk to you more about this if you'd like - medical stuff/spiritual stuff/whatever.
Email me if you feel like it.
Lesley
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